** DISCLAIMER: All "Confessions of a Realtor" stories are true, really. Please forgive the length. I've changed the names to protect the innocent. Unfortunately, this is my blog. So anytime you see "Bobby Taylor", it's me. After 15 years as a Realtor, I'm not that innocent anymore. ;-)
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When showing property with clients, I always check the showing instructions on homes. If it says, "CALL, KB", it means to call the owner and a keybox is available if the owner is not home. "APPT, KB" means make the appointment with the owner but a keybox is present. "VAC, KB" means the property is vacant -- read: agents can show anytime. Not all agents turn their pendings into the MLS within a reasonable amount of time. So a good Realtor will also call the listing agent of each prospective property to verify it is still active with no submitted or accepted offers on the property. Don't wanna waste yours or your clients time if the property is pending. Been there, done that too many times.
A few years back, I had an appointment to meet two ladies at my office. They were middle-aged women who had been life-partners for the last 20 years. We were going to look at 8 houses in Keizer and the northern parts of Marion County. I made all the necessary calls the night before, leaving messages on absent owners' answering machines about our approximate arrival times. All was right with the world...
In the morning, we jumped in my car and drove off. The first house we came to in Keizer was cute. My clients thought the exterior was perfect. As we approached the front door, I could hear the stereo booming inside the home. It was a "CALL, KB" of which I'd called well ahead and left a message we were coming. I rang the doorbell. I knocked on the door.
"The seller must have left in a hurry to forget the stereo on their way out," was my client's astute observation.
I used the keybox and unlocked the door. As I swung open the door, the consummate professional Realtor I am yells, "HELLOOOOO! REALTOR!!!"
At which point myself and my two clients hear:
"HOLY $#@%!! I'M NAKED!!"
At the other end of the house, literally a straight-shot from the door, the gorgeous head of a woman has popped out! She was, quite literally, without clothing.
My gracious, gentlemanly nature kicked in.
"HOLY $#@%!! I'M SORRY!! WE'LL GO!!", I yelled over Axl Rose's "Welcome to the Jungle".
"NO!!", she yells back. "GIVE ME 5 MINUTES AND YOU CAN SHOW IT!!"
As I hurriedly pulled the door shut behind me, I notice two straining bodies blocking mine and the door's path to modesty. Both of my clients were trying to get a view of this poor girl!! A feeling of a circus trainer fighting off ravenous beasts came over me and I finally pushed them back and closed the door behind us. After a few nervous minutes outside with my over-eager buyers, the BLARING music was turned down and we were allowed in by this gracious, now-fully-dressed-to-the-disappointment-of-my-clients woman.
After the showing, my clients got back into the car and we all three had a good laugh. I'd mentioned how I'd heard about that sort of thing happening to other agents but it was extremely rare and had never actually happened to me. Nor would it ever happen again. Being a gentleman, I mentioned that's why I always yell upon entering a home so I don't surprise anyone.
We progressed to show a few more houses. We pulled up to a turn-of-the-century house in Silverton. "CALL, KB" was the showing instructions. I rang the doorbell. I knocked. I used the keybox and unlocked the door.
"HELLOOOOO! REALTOR!!!"
No answer so we made our way through the home. The floorplan was kind of choppy because of the age and the addition on the back of the main-floor master suite. As my clients and I walked, the flow of the home took us through the living room, to the kitchen, into the family room, directly into the master suite. As my women looked around the room, I walked into the master bath. Saw it had a frosted-glass enclosed shower/tub combo, two sinks, and left. My ladies poked their heads in, and we walked back toward the living room. After viewing the upstairs, we stopped back in the living room to talk for a few minutes.
At the moment I open my big mouth, out from the same master bathroom we'd just observed walks an attractive, VERY WET, college girl dressed only in a towel!!
"OH!! MY!! GOD!!", whispered the girl.
My clients (and I!) froze - staring at the girl. The college girl froze - staring at us.
"Um. Um.... Realtor?", was all I could weakly blurt out.
"OMG, PEOPLE!!! CHECK YOUR ANSWERING MACHINES!!!", I was thinking.
After several apologies, we retreated outside to let the poor girl return to getting dressed. Between the three of us, we could not for the life of us figure out how we missed THAT in the master bathroom! I even vaguely remembered speaking in there!
Needless to say, these two women were the most energetic buyers I'd ever had after this. They didn't want to BUY a house, they just wanted to LOOK at houses with me! Yes, they did ultimately buy a home from me -- WITHOUT seeing another risque owner.
A word to owners: If your home is on the market with a keybox, please remember to stay modest. Don't walk around your house in various stages of undress. Lock your bathroom doors. TURN DOWN the music when you're in the shower. CHECK YOUR ANSWERING MACHINES regularly! Not all Realtors yell upon entry. So if you forget all these little hints, don't be surprised if you happen to be shocked by a professional agent guiding buyers through your home... And, no, it won't increase the value of your home, no matter how beautiful you are! ;-)
Anyway, if you ever want to buy a house (I ALWAYS call ahead for showings now!!), please give me a call. As always, I appreciate all referrals! :-) ~~ Bobby